The text message story of Madam Madcap
Last night, Peggy tried to persuade me to come in for an acupuncture treatment. She offered to watch Colette during all this. I explained that really, I’m not sure I would feel all right giving her over… not because I don’t trust lil miss Pegasus with the baby, but because that baby is totally out of control. Here, I’ll let the texts explain:
Pegs: But she likes it when I hold her.
Me: This is true. We can try it if u really want- maybe I’ll see if I can bring my mama for backup. Kid is for real-sauce active these days!!! Climbs in the tub, hides my brush in the toilet, slaps the cat, tries to pull out my eyelashes while I’m sleepin’, takes craps on the floor if left undiapered for 30 seconds, eats paperclips and rubberbands- I seriously ain’t foolin’!
Pegs: Hahahaha! That’s my girl! & u wonder why maybe y’al are stressed?! (…) I love you!
Me: And u think I’m makin’ it up or exaggerating- oh lemme tell you, that’s an hour’s worth of fun before we move on to dancing on the coffee table, pulling everything out of every kitchen cabinet, eating the catfood, prancing in one of my shoes and one of Colby’s, falling over and bruising her face because of it all, and then making out with the diaper bin. Oh Yes. Yes. Yes!
Me: Oh! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up because I’m wearing a shoe that is 40 x too big for my foot!
Me: Oh dog, I’ve exhausted myself from drinking outta the birdbath and chasing junebugs and strangling myself with hairbands and eating the hair out my mama’s brush! Zzzzzz!
Pegs: U have to post these! I’m rolling!!!!! Hahaha!
And there you have it, folks.
Fin.
